Spark 1 - Getting started

A reader asked the following: Ok, I looked at the Sparks and they sound so easy and almost silly. I picked out a talking one,  "Say Hello to a neighbor I have never talked to".   Then reality started to appear and my brain froze.

I have lived in my home for 12 years and indeed have never talked to the neighbors across the street.   I come and go, even work in the yard at the same time as they are working in theirs but never go over and say anything to them.   I need some strategies to make both me and them feel comfortable if I walk across the street and say Hi.   It sounds so simple, but I have created this normal that doesn't include interacting with them.  How can I start?

It is a great question and it highlights the challenge we all face. And I can say that each of us is not alone in this. It’s funny how we can live somewhere for years, see the same faces, and yet never take that first step to connect. It’s not that you’re avoiding them—it’s just that the “normal” has been set, and normal is powerful. But the good news? Normal is also flexible if you focus on bending it.

Here are a Few Strategies for Bending that Normal to Make It Comfortable

1. Casual Openers Work Best

No need for grand introductions—just start small. A simple “Hey, I see we’re both out here all the time. Figured it was about time I said hello.” works wonders. It acknowledges the history (or lack of it) while making it clear you’re not forcing anything.

2. Use the Environment as an Icebreaker

If they’re doing yard work, comment on something you genuinely notice:

• “That tree in your yard has really grown since I moved in—looks great!”

• “You always keep your lawn looking nice. Any tips? Mine’s a work in progress.”

• “Looks like we both had the same idea today—perfect weather for yard work!”

These comments make it feel like a natural conversation instead of an abrupt social shift.

3. Leverage Shared Experiences

If you’ve both lived there for years, odds are you’ve shared some events (storms, power outages, road work, or even a holiday decoration war from across the street).

• “Remember that crazy windstorm last year? I think I saw your trash can fly down the street. That was wild.”

• “Did you see they finally fixed that pothole on the corner? Took long enough.”

These shared references make you feel less like strangers and more like neighbors with a common history.

4. Keep It Light, No Big Commitments

You don’t have to invite them to dinner or suggest a neighborhood book club. Just saying hi and exchanging a few words shifts the dynamic. The goal is to change the normal, not shatter it.

5. The Exit Plan

If you’re worried about awkwardness, have a natural way to wrap up the first conversation:

• “Well, I just wanted to say Hi after all these years—hope your weekend goes well!”

• “Anyway, I won’t keep you, but nice finally chatting. See you around!”

This lets you leave without forcing an extended interaction.

The Magic of One “Hello”

The first time is the hardest because it’s new. But after that? You’ve broken the invisible barrier. Next time you’re both outside, a wave or a “Hey, how’s it going?” will feel natural. That’s the real win—turning strangers into familiar faces, one small step at a time.